If you clicked on today’s blog, it’s probably because you can relate or know someone else who can. This is more of an update post. However, I plan to do a deep dive into each topic in future posts.
Trying to stay on top of weekly posts is not easy as someone with health conditions. I do apologies if I miss a week, or 2! I haven’t been as on top of it recently and this is why…
On Tuesday, 24th March I had my first appointment after a very long and frustrating wait with the chronic illness team. It was over an hour long, sat in uncomfortable chairs and over 2 hours of traveling!! I want to thank my mum for her support for this appointment. She drove me there and back and supported me throughout the appointment, whilst dealing with her own health conditions.
The appointment did go well thankfully. It was more of a background check sort of thing for the chronic illness team to get to know me, my symptoms and my situation. Lots of questions about me, my pains, family history etc. After we got home, I was so exhausted, I did nothing else and was in bed super early!
So, all is good right? Good appointment, yes I was tired but it went well…
the thing is, that wasn’t the only appointment I had this week!
The day before, I made the decision to stop my therapy with Better Help. I have loved the platform so much and it was super sad to say good bye! My therapist has been great, I’ve loved group sessions and the classes/worksheets available. However, there were cons as well as pros. It was a lot of money and I feel as though right now it wasn’t doing too much for me. At the start, there were so many benefits for it, but I’ve been doing therapy since I was 13, and even before then I did play therapy growing up! I’m at a stage in my life where I need to put what I’ve learnt into practice. Therapy became a chatty session rather than actual therapy, and I think it’s a hell of a lot of money just for a chat. So yes, I made the decision to end it there.
I discussed it with my therapy in advance. She was very nice about it! i explained that it wasn’t her and even asked if there was any way I could request her if I rejoined in the future. She gave me her contact details so if I wanted even a once a month chat, she was just an email way which I think is great! My therapist has helped me so much and I am very grateful for her.
So much has been happening recently and it’s been a bit of a headache for me. However, things are starting to get better! I do weekly math classes in my local community room (the tutor has said I’m too advanced for it so is getting me harder work and has said I can stay to body double – an adhd term meaning ‘studying alongside others, not necessarily on the same topic’), I’m also studying with the Centre of Excellence who have amazing courses! I volunteer with Conwy Mind, help out with their socials, editing and advertising. I do my own content, I do art, there are many things to keep me busy!
Staying busy is definitely my best coping mechanism for my mind to stay at ease, but what about days when my health is too bad? What am I meant to do then? All I tend to do is doom scroll in these situations!
I am working on turning my bedroom into a cozy space where I can easily do things. Bad health day? Study/craft in bed! I want to get off my phone and be more productive. It may be hard some days, I mean, doomscrolling is so easy to do. However, it is also really unhealthy when it’s extreme amounts!
If you made it this far, then I want to thank you. Writing these blogs take a lot of effort and I hope one day I’ll have people reading them and going ‘wow, I relate to this!’. All I want is for people to not feel alone.
This is a safe space!
You are welcome to relax here
Thank you for reading
From MJ ❤
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